Letter To My Future Wife 1

Dear Wife,

This is your future husband speaking.

At this moment of time i feel like i am living in an emotional desert.

Sometimes,i think that i am the desert.

I am gradually losing my ability to emphatise,to treasure and to give...the three motions of love.Sometimes i feel like an automaton...drifting past life without aim or meaning.Sometimes i am a bundle of nervous energy...volatile,unreliable and self-serving...I am not a good man.I am a liar, a conceited sepulchre...an emotional vampire who feeds on the love and affection of others and leaves them drained,tired and hopeless.

My outbursts frighten my family.My erratic mood swings unnerve my loved ones.I don't understand the chaotic eddying of my own mind.I want pure and simple love,but i am just too irresponsible and unpredictable.I am a young man with the heart of an old,grey shade.

But i promise to change.

You see wife,what i yearn for at the end of the day is to be a proper,mature man.I want to live my life making life better for the people around me.I want to be a care-giver and to provide support for my loved ones..I want to live my life for the purpose of loving and nurturing.

I want to be accepted.

I want to be a blessing to the people around me.

To do that,i am willing to shed my present skin.But it is going to take time because i am so comfortable in it...and to change would require a monumental effort...because i have been so dark and so arid for too long.But i really want to be a better man...what i need is a little bit of faith in myself.

But this is me today.Fed up at what an absolute gargoyle i have become.

However,it is my strongest hope that one day i will become a good husband and father.That i can bring a little bit of laughter and sunshine into the lives of my loved ones.That people i meet at parties wouldn't ask ,"is there anything wrong?you look sian."...and i wouldn't have to reply,"that's just me."

and so i ask for a little bit of time and space to change.

and i will take the steps to change.