I am in isolation...

in denial...

i don't know why...but i just feel so disconnected with my own life when i woke up in the morning.

I am going to try and pick up the pieces now.

I think there comes a point of time in everyone's life when you feel that you are capable of so much more than what you are doing...and it seems that your creative and intellectual growth is being suppressed...like some heavy cloud is pressing down on your young mind...

I hate the feeling.

It's like invisible bats flapping in your mind...telling you that you have something else to do...something more noble to aspire to than your day job...

So here i am...pushing twenty...frustrated...alienated...empty...

despite all the learning...all the reading and the so-called erudition...i have remained a stereotypical specimen of the Gen Y malcontent...A cardboard cut-out...a product from the factory line...with the same fears and thoughts as any angsty college kid...All made from the same mould...like little disgruntled gingerbread men...

I have tried to be a blessing to all those around me...but nothing i do seems to be enough...where is the love? Where is the sincerity?

six feet under...in an unmarked grave...that's where they are.

Oh well...maybe it's just a phase...so many friends have moved beyond this phase to lead stable, adult lifestyles...I'm sure I can too...It's just a matter of time.

I hope.