Coffee, Time Travel...and a touch of Angel Dust...

Not a bad weekend.

Had a great time chilling in bed and drinking lots of coffee...My friends tell me that I am not a person...I am simply a machine that transforms caffeine into lingering, wistful verses and astute observations on people. I love the stuff...it's almost like manna to my soul. I just can't live without my daily dose of the pungent ambrosia..Without my daily cuppas, I feel as weak as a dehydrated starvation artist...and I start to see neon-pink cups of mocha sparkling in front of me.

But enough about my caffeine fixation...I am far behind my training schedule for the Stand-Chart...Really got to start focussing...it's time to increase training tempo and intensity...can't just lounge around like a sea cucumber and hope for miracles to happen on the day of the event...I've got to start building up my endurance and stamina...Gambatte!

Read 'The Eyre Affair' by Jasper FForde...A rather humurous book with numerous references to a coterie of literary characters...Rather surreal in the sense that reality and visions overlap from time to time...In a sense, the book is organised chaos because events don't seem to flow linearly ( The Heroines' daddy happens to be a time-travelling rogue military officer)...Suspension of Disbelief quite widely used...A fairly entertaining read.

Went out with her last night...She was beautiful, as usual...and I felt really blessed to have her with me. Sometimes, being with her just brings me to a much safer place...a place where I don't have to deal with family disputes, vacillating emotions, uncertainty and confusion...When I am with her, I just want to see her smile...I just want to be there for her and to make her feel special...It's totally amazing how she breaks down all the artificial barriers that I have erected against humanity...I can be the ultimate sulkface for one whole week...but the moment I'm with her I feel like it's my responsibility to make her laugh...Ironic, no?

Could there really be Angels in our midst? Sometimes I feel that one of them is with me now...

Seeing her makes me feel as happy as a child on Christmas morning...I'm full of anticipation and joy...yet there is so much latent trepidation and uncertainty...I am perpetually afraid of hurting her in my speech and actions...yet when I am with her, I speak and act so freely that I surprise myself...In a sense, she frees me from the inner prison that I have constructed with my own fears and insecurities...I become much less self-conscious and so much more willing to take things easily...All the accumulated tensions seem to melt away...and I am at peace with myself...finally.

Mental note to self: Time to hit the gym; focus on Deltoids and pecs this week! Gotta get great shoulders fast!