I shall never, ever be a drug addict.

I realised this the moment I nearly passed out during the intravenous drip test that I went through yesterday. For the uninformed, this test involves nervous, squeamish young men inserting "otak"stick-sized needles into each others' veins in a process that is largely trial and error. The aim of this sordid business is to hook the casualty onto a makeshift ( I have to remind you of the implications of this word.) life-support system... in the event of a severe combat injury ( e.g. a broken skull caused by a meteorite shower of durians.)

Anyway, my partner was Seth, a protein-shake junkie and gym animal...and also one of my best buddies. Under the veneers of false bravado and self-assured machismo were two nervous wrecks...Neither of us had any idea how to do this thing without suffering dramatic fainting spells.

I have always entertained the notion that pain tests the bonds of friendship better than anything else. As I knelt beside my fallen buddy (he was supposed to be suffering from a ripped abdomen), I am now a firm believer in the veracity of this notion.

Marbles of perspiration formed around my tense brow as my quivering fingers sought Seth's veins. To be frank, the veins were very prominent....Due to long hours spent pumping iron, Seth's veins were succulent, voluptous and juicy-much like a rare filet mignon steak. I closed my eyes and let fate guide my wavering hand...

...and was royally screwed by the staff sergeant conducting the test. "Oiii! Ah ni kuan mana eh sai? (lit. How can you do it like this?)" I was too kancheong and had poked Seth's muscle instead of his vein...I was blithely unaware until I inadvertently caught a glimpse of Seth's face...which was involuntarily twitching in spasms...I swear I saw a fat tear roll down his jerking cheeks...just as his mouth was contorted into a silent scream...His facial expression brought to mind only one word, which I am sure Seth would have shrieked if he could somehow find his collapsed voice-" MAMA!!!"

I mumbled an apology and tried to remove the offending object from my ailing friend's flesh...but I met quite a lot of inertia as his muscles were so stiff...In retrospect, It was a darkly comical scenario...with me pushing and pulling the syringe like a fiddler struggling with a disobedient violin string.

When we switched places, things took a turn for the worse. After the traumatic experience, Seth had lost whatever scraps of confidence that he had. Worse, he had no idea how to tape on the plastic thingies...so I was left on the bench leaking blood like a faulty tap after Seth stabbed the wrong vein...By now, the staff sergeant was absolutely resigned to the fact that both of us were not destined to be acupuncturists. I was made a medical scapegoat as he used me to show the others what veinous bleeding was ( i.e. spurts of blood)...some joker even brought out his videocam...

On a much lighter note, I managed to catch Just Like Heaven yeasterday...a sweet and funny romantic comedy...A real treat for fans of Reese Witherspoon.

Currently reading Trithy Umbriger's 'Bombay Time'... simply brilliant.