A slow and stagnant weekend...totally dull, boring and insipid...

J. asked me to accompany her to the nail spa...but my mum wanted me to stay at home and help her pluck tow gay roots...I am not a dutiful, domesticated son, but I thought that I could spare myself some nagging if I just sat down and carried out Her Majesty's orders...Well, I was proven wrong...haiz...

Sometimes, I wonder where I have gone wrong as a son. I mean, I am not a Goth Punk or some connoiseur of synthetic drugs...I am not a rabid chimpanzee or a lycanthrope...I am not a lazy swine who lives off his parents like a patch of parasitic fungus...but from the way my parents talk about me, you might think I am any of the above.

Communication has always been a big problem for my mum and me...maybe cos she was born in the year of the Tiger and I was born in the year of the Ox (or is it buffalo?) Both of us hate to admit that we are in the wrong, even though sometimes our views are illogical or immature. I am so tired and stressed trying to be a good son...Even our quality time is filled with tension...A simple meal at a bistro will be filled with drama and histrionics...a shopping trip to the supermarket will be filled with exploding bombs. She is a fastidious perfectionist, a stickler to detail and deadline, a number cruncher with a somewhat pushy streak...I don't really know what I am. All I know is that I am being suffocated.

At 21, I am a little bit too old to call those Tinkle Friend or Teenage SOS hotlines...I can't exactly define or clarify the problem...so it is futile and meaningless to consult any counsellors...I think my mum will flip if I suggest that we go for counselling. She has always tried TOO HARD to preserve an image of our "wholesome family"...

Someone who believes herself to be my close friend (S.W.B.H.T.B.M.C.F) has been bugging me to go overseas with her...The following exchange is full, authentic and unabridged:

S.W.B.H.T.B.M.C.F: Nixie! ( yes, the tone gives you a crystal clear indication of this person's identity) let's go to India in December!!! My eye is on a 2k package. I've done my homework. WE will have so much fun there...but you must protect me from the molestors hor...HAHAHA

Me: WE havn't even gone to Little India together.

That person: Let's go now lar! see you at the MRT in 15 min!

The next night...

That person: You wanna go to Malaysia this weekend? I need a break from work. I know a good spa in JB.

Me: For What!? To buy pirated dvds? or chewing gum? And I don't have money for spa treatment.

Argh...it's so bizarre...sometimes, I wonder if I am being punished for throwing myself at other women in the past...I sincerely regret my actions now...

Well, a small, little rainbow emerged this week...Finally heard from HER...it's something to be thankful about. God bless her:) even though it has been so long since we've seen each other. It sucks to realise how much you miss a person even though you think that you have moved on...It's like you can't seem to let go...and yet you are happy not to let go...ironic, no?