Nightmare~1

I am alone in a garden..

i smell roses everywhere...and everywhere i look there are marble cherubs...all hugging harps around an impossibly pristine fountain...

the sound of skylarks and thrush-song drift across the air...resonating...pure...

but i don't feel at peace...

i stumble around in my confusion...past meandering hedges and an ancient sundial...

the sundial says it is the eleventh hour...

and i am lost

i run...

and find a Church with a tall steeple...
the clock-tower says it is the fifty-ninth minute of the eleventh hour...

and at this time Princess walks out of the Church...

She looks beautiful in her wedding dress...positively radiant...like every star in the sky focussed their energies on her countenance...she looks like she is truly happy...like this is the very moment she has been living her life for...

but the Groom is not me.

and she turns and looks at me...and she cries...but these are pure tears of joy and elation...she is enraptured to be with the man at her side...

I open my mouth to speak...but I am mute...like my vocal chords have died...I try to stand...but my legs give way...and i feel like i am in a pillory...i can't do anything...

and then she grows Angels' wings and flies away...together with her new Groom...

She throws her veil down...and i watch it spiralling in the wind...and then it turns into a raven and flies off...

and the Church fades...and the garden fades...and only a desert is left...

and my flesh withers...as i weep silently into the barren ground...

and then even this small solace is taken from me as I plunge back into our reality...

I am bathed in a cold sweat and beseiged by a deluge of irrational fears...
and my friends say i talked in my sleep...