What a hectic week.

Spent the whole Monday at the Nee Soon IMT honing my shooting skills.

On Tuesday, we spent the afternoon filming HOT NALA's Farewell Video. The contents of the video are top secret...all I can say is this-the actors had to groove and boogie alot. Oh, and all of us got sunburnt in the process of filming the vid.

Wednesday was Clean-Arms Day...I can't think of anything interesting to say about the world's most tedious activity.

My company conducted Range on Thursday...which means we had to wake up early and return to our warm and cosy beds late at night. Well, I have to say that my last Range as an NSF was a pretty good experience. Morale was high and everyone was joking about getting Marksman. Well, I actually enjoyed the shooting part...but not the part where we need to clean our rifles. I got my Marksman Badge...which is something I am proud of. Oh, and I managed to bag two OFF days from HOT NALA and some cool cash as well. Praise The Lord!

On Friday, I was part of the Advance Party for the First-Year shooters...That meant that I had to wake up even earlier and return to camp even later than the shooters...Well, someone had to do the job la.

I thought that Friday would mark the end of a busy week...but I was so wrong! I was sucked into the saikang vortex again on Saturday when I had to help out at a formal state function. Initially, only the Regular Specialists were tasked to help out...but I had to replace my Platoon Sergeant because he did not have the required attire to do Saikang. The event organisers decided that only white long-sleeved shirts, flat black trousers and proper footwear (i.e. leather shoes for guys and court shoes for ladies) were allowed in the Ballroom.

Oh well...I guess it's now time for me to kick back and relax a little...it has been such a loooong week.

Sundays

Ah! Give me slow Sunday mornings...

That I may smell the Roses

and taste the calm and still

with the palate of my heart.

Let me feel time stop;

as I greet a passing cloud

and salute

the sprightly sparrow.

Do not deny me

of my day of rest,

When I slow my step

to look into the mirror.

I deserve this day!

A beautiful day to dance

with my best friends-

the carafe and the pen.

Went for the interview today...

Well I guess it was not as traumatic as I had envisioned it to be. I had expected to have my puny ego pan-seared by some crusty old prune from Oxford. Would there be anything left of me after some demonic Provost concludes his intense interrogation? Would my intellect be dissected and char-grilled? Would my pride be whipped into creme brulee?

Fortunately, no.

My interviewer was the young, charming and attractive Dr. Katrina G. She made me feel at ease the moment I entered the interview room. Her smile was feminine and pristine. Her manner, demure yet intellectual. Her eyes seemed to be having a playful conversation with my heart. There was something intense and untameable in her striking Nordic features...In her past life, she was probably a Russian Tzarina who revelled in riding across the vast steppes....On a wild black stallion, I am sure.

Anyway, the interview component was rather ho-hum...some stuff about some obscure act in the US that prohibits people from possessing imitation firearms....Some wacko robbed his ex-employer with his fingers stuck into his zipped-up jacket and the court was deciding whether to charge him for that...Those who oppose claim that he can't be charged because a finger is not an imitation weapon....

I say! "whatever la...."

When you've got a Russian Tzarina in the same room as you, you probably won't think so much about wackos with childish tendencies.

Finally got discharged from the icky Mandai Hill Med Centre...one of the worst places to be in the world.

The nauseating stench of Dettol will be eternally lodged in my memory...I don't think I'll be able to forget the stone-faced medics and the dreadful silence either. I felt like I was entombed in some subterranean mausoleum...so creepy...Ironically, resting in peace is the last thing you'd be able to do here...especially with hordes of nameless, shapeless figures shuffling furtively up and down the dimly-lit corridors...Brrr...

Well, at least we managed to catch some movies in the DVD room within the three nights that we were there...I was not expecting anything of Palm D'or calibre, but the movies we watched would put WaterWorld to shame...For instance, a soft-porn version of Lady White Snake, starring a pre-fame Maggie Cheung...the movie was really the pits! Not to mention the astoundingly inane and banal Club Dread ( a soft-porn parody of a teen slasher flick)...It's no wonder that our condition did not improve...if anything, seeing so many heaving bosoms aggravated our sore eyes! Please! For the sake of your own sanity, stay away from these two movies!

Going for the oxford interview tommorrow...haha, even my encik wished me good luck! I wonder what it's going to be like...not too bad I hope...I am determined to give my ultimate best! It wasn't easy to get a slot for this interview you know.

Alright guys, wish me luck!

Coffee, Time Travel...and a touch of Angel Dust...

Not a bad weekend.

Had a great time chilling in bed and drinking lots of coffee...My friends tell me that I am not a person...I am simply a machine that transforms caffeine into lingering, wistful verses and astute observations on people. I love the stuff...it's almost like manna to my soul. I just can't live without my daily dose of the pungent ambrosia..Without my daily cuppas, I feel as weak as a dehydrated starvation artist...and I start to see neon-pink cups of mocha sparkling in front of me.

But enough about my caffeine fixation...I am far behind my training schedule for the Stand-Chart...Really got to start focussing...it's time to increase training tempo and intensity...can't just lounge around like a sea cucumber and hope for miracles to happen on the day of the event...I've got to start building up my endurance and stamina...Gambatte!

Read 'The Eyre Affair' by Jasper FForde...A rather humurous book with numerous references to a coterie of literary characters...Rather surreal in the sense that reality and visions overlap from time to time...In a sense, the book is organised chaos because events don't seem to flow linearly ( The Heroines' daddy happens to be a time-travelling rogue military officer)...Suspension of Disbelief quite widely used...A fairly entertaining read.

Went out with her last night...She was beautiful, as usual...and I felt really blessed to have her with me. Sometimes, being with her just brings me to a much safer place...a place where I don't have to deal with family disputes, vacillating emotions, uncertainty and confusion...When I am with her, I just want to see her smile...I just want to be there for her and to make her feel special...It's totally amazing how she breaks down all the artificial barriers that I have erected against humanity...I can be the ultimate sulkface for one whole week...but the moment I'm with her I feel like it's my responsibility to make her laugh...Ironic, no?

Could there really be Angels in our midst? Sometimes I feel that one of them is with me now...

Seeing her makes me feel as happy as a child on Christmas morning...I'm full of anticipation and joy...yet there is so much latent trepidation and uncertainty...I am perpetually afraid of hurting her in my speech and actions...yet when I am with her, I speak and act so freely that I surprise myself...In a sense, she frees me from the inner prison that I have constructed with my own fears and insecurities...I become much less self-conscious and so much more willing to take things easily...All the accumulated tensions seem to melt away...and I am at peace with myself...finally.

Mental note to self: Time to hit the gym; focus on Deltoids and pecs this week! Gotta get great shoulders fast!

Swept away by

the winds of

elation...

Flung too soon

into the dark;

with no warning.

I'm too temperamental...I know.

The chains within-

they have no key.

I can't escape!

I am the victim

of my own

implosive impulses.

but it's really difficult for me to change...especially since I am so used to being controlled by my emotions. Sometimes I feel like the slave of my demons...and when I am struggling in the darkness, I can't pull myself out.

Hold my hand.

Whisper warm words

into my hungry heart.

Leave a part

of you within me

before you fly.

That's why I need you to tell me that things are going to be ok...and even if they are not, I want you to tell me that you'll be here with me when I brave my tempests...

Without you,

I lose myself

in the cold

mountains of

Solitude

And I drown

in my bitter mire

of silence.

I know that it's hard to read my mind. I've never been easy to please...but if you give up on me, I don't know where else I can find Hope.

Be with me

Give me wings.

so I can soar with you...

The Angel

of my Heaven.

Please don't let me walk alone.

Random Thoughts

I've just finished the LNAT.

The first major examination in a very, very long time...

For those unfamiliar with the term, LNAT stands for Law National Aptitude Test ( I think la). It is a mandatory examination that all UK-LAW hopefuls have to take if they want to secure a place in a UK University reading Law. It is supposed to gauge your "powers of discrimination" and "how well you can hold a particular position".

Taking the test was an extremely humbling experience. I don't pride myself as a meticulous person who has "fine grained" powers of discrimination...so the comprehension passages were a killer...This is far worse than the SAT...Imagine...all the five options in the answer have an element of truth...but in which option is this element strongest? Which is the best answer? Sometimes, it's really difficult to draw a conclusion...The essay was not easy either...4 of the 5 options were on subjects that I had almost zero knowledge or interest in...Fortunately, the last one was manageable...

Ok...enough about the LNAT...Recently, I've realised that people around me are giving very negative vibes ...I'm not talking about the people in camp...but the other people in my life...I guess it's the stress of the exam period...but I do hope that they can share their problems with me; instead of just lashing out and then hastily apologising.